Most Artistic
by Silver Sniper
Summary: In which Xaldin realizes his potential as a juggler, Demyx attempts to copy him with sharp kitchen knives, and Axel just wants his oranges back from Xaldin.


Kingdom Hearts © Square-Enix

Really, I'm appalled at the lack of humor pieces dedicated to Xaldin.

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Most Artistic

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"Xaldin, that's _amazing_!"

In a previous life, one might assume that Xaldin was more suited as a juggler than a dedicated lab assistant. His impeccable knack of wielding six lances at the same time while he only possessed two hands was an amazing feat to have conquered, and the fact that he was able to create a fearsome dragon that is capable of blasting away a certain spiky brunette protagonist like an annoying pest was also a skill to be awed at. While Xaldin might've not been your everyday clown you see juggling bright orange balls at the circus, one can undoubtedly say that Xaldin was the best juggler in the World that Never Was. The funny thing is, he never really tried it before. What could he say? He was a natural.

"I wish I could juggle." His captive audience was composed of a not amused Axel and an awestruck Demyx who was the one that gushed out the aforesaid dialogue. Xaldin himself was a little surprised by his talent, but it wasn't a totally unexpected thing because, after all, Xaldin did wield the power of the wind, therefore cheating a bit wasn't completely out of his range.

"You'll hurt yourself," Xaldin muttered through his intense concentration. While by now he could do this in his sleep with one hand tied to his bedpost, Xaldin always believed in the philosophy of always dedicating yourself wholeheartedly to whatever it is you were doing, and that with Demyx and Axel in the room, expect things that you wouldn't otherwise expect because said unexpected things were always bound to happen.

"No I won't!" Demyx insisted, though it was common knowledge that anything, even the everyday kitchen sponge, was a safety hazard around Demyx. Be it accidentally deluging the whole floor in an inch of water while taking an exaggeratedly long soak in the bathtub or running cold water on a pan of oil just used to boil French fries, Demyx wasn't the least in tuned with carefulness, even around his own element. Therefore, it was highly doubtful that should he try to toss three or more potentially harmful (in Demyx mode of course) objects in the air and attempt to catch them.

"Yeah, sure. Can I have my oranges back?" Random occurrences occur everywhere, and Axel just happened to be the unneeded presence in this occasion. Really, all he wanted was his oranges back from Xaldin's juggling act. Xaldin didn't see any benefit for him in taking orders from someone ranked lower, and decided to ignore Axel's wish. Meanwhile, Demyx had just fished out four kitchen knives from one of the drawers. Now, these weren't ordinary plastic butter knives you use as cheap restaurants, (also known as the fast food chain epidemic) nor were they the upgraded metal ones you use at home. These were those heavy-duty stainless steel knives that you often find butchers using to hack off some heads.

"Uh, Demyx," Axel began. "How about we start with three?"

"None is more like it," Xaldin remarked as he professionally tossed an orange under his leg. Yeah, he was so good at this.

"Why?" Demyx whined. "I can handle it!"

Xaldin was forced to break his philosophy of intense concentration as he and Axel glared sharply at Demyx, telling him that the stupid and probably life-threatening act he was to perform was going to be his last if he persisted through with it. Demyx returned those glowers with a dejected sigh as he grudgingly slid the knives back into their rightful places. A sigh of relief was mentally channeled between Xaldin and Axel. Needless to say, they both had mentally and physically scaring experiences when Demyx announced that he could 'handle it'. There was not a doubt in either of their mind that Demyx most certainly couldn't handle _anything_ outside of his sitar. Xaldin returned his focus back to Axel's oranges.

"I want my oranges back," Axel grumbled again.

"I'm not done with them," Xaldin insisted, incorporating more fancy tricks into his juggling act.

"They're my oranges, and I'm hungry."

"Eat salad."

A moment after saying that, Xaldin really wished he hadn't. "You actually eat?" would've been more appropriate in that situation, but "Eat salad" had less syllables and wasn't in the form of a question so he guessed that was fine as well. He just hoped that in the case that Axel actually did raid the fridge searching for vegetable munchies on Xaldin's hollow suggestion, he wouldn't take Zexion's share because he had already gotten a complaint from the man last time he took it without his consent. If only Xigbar hadn't taken the last of the meat that day…

"I don't like salad," was Axel's reply. Somewhere in the background, Demyx began innocently eyeing different juggle-able kitchen utilities again.

"You don't like anything."

"Yes I do!"

"Cinnamon toothpaste doesn't count."

Axel's retort was on the tip of his tongue when a sudden interruption made him swallow the words back down. It seemed that Demyx had just found his new object of intrigue: the toaster, or, more appropriately, a toaster that would never be able to toast bread ever again. Demyx didn't understand though. He was so sure his timing was perfect. After all, music was math and math is timing.

"Demyx!" Axel hissed. There goes his favorite breakfast menu of cinnamon toast with cinnamon spiked milk for the week.

"Sorry," Demyx mumbled before his hands reached for the metal napkin dispenser.

"If you're sorry, then don't you dare try making that thing airborne," Xaldin said.

"No, I _swear_ I can catch it this time," Demyx promised before tossing it into the air. It was soon apparent to both Axel and Xaldin that not only was Demyx's timing perfectly disastrous, his sense of aim rivaled that of a blind bird trying to find its way home without crashing into the endless obstacles of trees. Otherwise, Demyx was a failure as a juggler. Axel had no sad choice but to torch it before it obliterated the sink, but the napkin dispenser wasn't the only thing that was torched. Woe was Axel, for his precious oranges were now nothing but fragments of ashes. He never got to taste them either.

"Demyx," Axel groaned as he clabbered off of his chair and sauntered towards the exit.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Demyx cried as he hastily scrambled after Axel, hoping he hadn't attracted the redhead's wrath for the rest of the week.

"To steal more oranges from Marluxia," Axel mumbled.

Xaldin stood there looking at the two for moment, pondering what had just occurred. Even though he was a Nobody, Xaldin must admit that it had been quite an experience juggling those oranges. He never knew he had so much talent before, and was truly grateful for realizing his potential as a possible sideshow juggler. (That is, after he is resurrected from the horrible fate handed to him by Sora and finds his heart and uh, _slightly_ tweaks his outward appearances. Wouldn't want to scare the kids now, would we?) However, Xaldin never lost sight of the present, and in the cavity where his heart should've been, Xaldin always knew that he was destined to be with his beloved sharp-pointy metal slabs on a stick, or more commonly known as his lances. Still…

"Hey, you two, wait for me."


End file.
